Burnistoun “Mad Uncles”

BBC Scotland and BBC One Scotland and BBC Two Scotland sketch show from Robert Florence and Iain Connell. 22 episodes 2009 – 2019.

Robert Florence and Iain Connell write and perform this sketch show set in a fictional Scottish location that somehow seems eerily familiar. Burnistoun has its own newspaper, furniture store, gym, pub and all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, radio station and even an ice-cream van.

Characters include Uncle Willie the man who insists on having his own funeral before he dies, wannabe girl-band singer Jackie McGlade who can make any tune sexy except football songs, and John and Terry two pub pals who insist they do not fantasize about each other sexually.

Other Burnistoun characters include disgruntled serial killer The Burnistoun Butcher, and snippy siblings, Paul and Walter, who share high drama inside their ice cream van.

More about Burnistoun at Comedy UK

‘Fancy a pint of Chic Murray for dinner?’ – A Guide to Scottish rhyming slang

 

Though most people will be familiar with Cockney rhyming slang, they perhaps won’t know that Scotland also has its own version.

Keeping up with Scots words, the accent and even regional dialects can be hard enough, but throw in Scotland’s love of word play and it can leave many without a Scooby (as in Doo – clue, get it?).

From asking someone if they are Corned Beef to going for a Chic Murray – here are some of our favourite Scottish rhyming slang phrases.

Chic Murray – Curry

Though many have started using another famous Scottish Murray for this one (Andy), it will always be the original and best for us.

Example: “Fancy a wee Chic Murray for dinner tonight? I canny be bothered cooking.”

Corned Beef – Deif/Deaf

This one sees corned beef rhymed with deif (the way Scots would pronounce deaf), and is usually aimed at someone who isn’t listening.

Example: “Listen pal, are you corned beef? I told you to beat it.”

Hauf Inch – Pinch

A good one for someone who is known to be on the light-fingered side.

Example: “Aye it’s a cracker eh? Wee Davey hauf inched it for us.”

Mick Jagger – Lager

If someone asks if you fancy a Mick Jagger, it’s usually an invite for a pint and not referring to the great man himself.

Example: “I’m guessing most us will be choking for a Mick Jagger when the restrictions are over and the pubs re-open.”

Hampden Roar – Score

Though you might think this would be used for football, it’s more likely to be used when asking for more details about something.

Example: “What’s the Hampden for later? Where are we going?”

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Breabach at Celtic Colours

This beautiful and energetic melding of instruments and Gaelic song brilliantly reflects the musicianship, traditional roots and contemporary influences of award-winning Scottish group Breabach. Featuring Calum MacCrimmon (bagpipes, whistle), Megan Henderson (fiddle, vocals), Ewan Robertson (guitar), James Duncan Mackenzie (bagpipes, flute), and James Lindsay (double bass), it was recorded during Celtic Colours International Festival at Port Hawkesbury Civic Centre on October 19, 2019.

Knees Up: Knees Up in Hanoi (Calum MacCrimmon) / Dòchas Glan Na Fàire (Ewen Henderson & Calum MacCrimmon)

Scottish comedy’s plight is no laughing matter

Amid the coronavirus crisis, grassroots comedy in Scotland faces potential ‘extinction’ without a lifeline from the government, writes Brian Ferguson.

Can you remember the first time you saw yourself reflected back from a television screen or at the cinema?

It’s quite vivid in my memory as an awkward, hapless schoolboy, watching Gregory’s Girl at home in the mid-1980s. I was agog at not how achingly funny it was, from almost the first frame to the last, but also how true to life it felt to the harsh realities of teenage years when almost everything feels like a total mystery.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Gregory’s Girl recently, partly because it is 40 years old next year. It is undoubtedly a touchstone for my generation, but is still seen as one of the greatest Scottish films of all-time. Director Bill Forsyth is revered as one of the nation’s leading filmmakers, not just for Gregory’s Girl, which was famously honoured in the opening ceremony for the London Olympics in 2012, but for his two other best-known movies, Local Hero and Comfort and Joy. All three comfortably fit into the category of comedy.

Yet 40 years on, the current crop of Scottish comics have had to go into battle to try to secure official recognition for their art form for the first time and a share of the £107m lifeline funding to secure the future of arts and culture north of the border. I’ve come across some bizarre scenarios, but the sight of Scottish stand-ups pleading for fair treatment from the government of a country of Billy Connolly, Frankie Boyle, Still Game, Chewin’ the Fat, Elaine C Smith and Karen Dunbar is right up there.

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