When everything is fluid, and when nothing can be known with any certainty Hold your own
Hold it ’til you feel it there As dark, and dense, and wet as earth As vast, and bright, and sweet as air When all there is Is knowing that you feel what you are feeling Hold your own
Ask your hands to know the things they hold I know the days are reeling past in such squealing blasts But stop for breath and you will know it’s yours Swaying like an open door when storms are coming Hold
Time is an onslaught Love is a mission We work for vocation until In remission We wish we’d had patience and given more time to our children
Feel each decision that you make Make it, hold it Hold your own Hold your lovers Hold their hands Hold their breasts in your hands, like your hands were their bras Hold their face in your palms like a prayer Hold them all night, feel them hold back Don’t hold back Hold your own
Every pain Every grievance Every stab of shame Every day spent with a demon in your brain giving chase Hold it
Know the wolves that hunt you In time, they will be the dogs that bring your slippers Love them right and you will feel them kiss you when they come to bite Hhot snouts digging out your cuddles with their bloody muzzles Hold
Nothing you can buy will ever make you more whole This whole thing thrives on us feeling always incomplete And it is why we will search for happiness in whatever thing it is we crave in the moment And it is why we can never really find it there It is why you will sit there with the lover that you fought for In the car you sweated years to buy Wearing the ring you dreamed of all your life And some part of you will still be unsure that this is what you really want Stop craving Hold your own
But if you’re satisfied with where you’re at, with who you are You won’t need to buy new make-up, or new outfits, or new pots and pans To cook new exciting recipes For new exciting people To make yourself feel like the new exciting person, you think you’re supposed to be
Happiness, the brand, is not happiness We are smarter than they think we are They take us all for idiots But that’s their problem When we behave like idiots It becomes our problem
So hold your own Breathe deep on a freezing beach Taste the salt of friendship Notice the movement of a stranger Hold your own And let it be Catching
How familiar are you with the famous London dialect of Cockney rhyming slang?
Do you like a nice cup of ‘Rosie Lee’ at night before you head up the ‘apples and pears’ to your ‘Uncle Ted’?
Apologies – for those aged under 25, you may not understand the statement above or be familiar with the famous London dialect of Cockney rhyming slang.
For many years, Londoners have been using catchy words and phrases in sentences that rhyme with the actual words they mean to say.
Quite often, this trend can be heard around Essex too.
As an example, the sentence above means ‘Do you like a nice cup of tea at night before you head up the stairs to your bed’.
Cockney rhyming slang was also popularised around the country when it was used during the classic British sitcom ‘Only Fools and Horses’.
Here is a list of 50 Cockney terms that you’ve probably never heard – along with their translation and an example of use in a sentence:
1. Able and Willing
Translation: Shilling
Use: “I’m so skint until payday, could you lend us an Able?”
2. Alan Minter
Translation: printer or splinter
Use: “The Alan’s jammed with paper again.”
3. Alex Nash
Translation: slash (urinate)
Use: “Where’s your loo? I’m desperate for an Alex.”
4. Apple pip
Translation: dip
Use: “Let’s all go down to Brighton for an apple pip.”
5. Arthur Conan Doyle
Translation: boil
Use: “Oi mate, would you put that kettle on the Arthur?”
6. Atilla the Hun
Translation: 2:1 degree
Use: “I graduated last year with an Atilla in Business Studies.”
7. Baa lamb
Translation: tram
Use: “I’m on the lamb over from Ikea.”
8. Basil Brush
Translation: thrush
Use: “I’ve got a bad case of the old Basil.”
9. Betty Boo/ Eartha Kitt
Translation: poo
Use: “Where’s the lav, I need a Betty!”
10. Bill Oddie
Translation: voddie (vodka)
Use: “Get us a Bill and cola.”
11. Billie Piper
Translation: windscreen wiper
Use: “Someone’s gone and ripped off my Billies.”
12. Billy Ray Cyrus
Translation: virus
Use: “I had to take my laptop to the shop because I opened an email with a nasty Billy Ray attached.”
13. Boracic lint
Translation: broke, skint
Use: “I can’t come out tonight, I’m completely Boracic.”
14. Brad Pitt
Translation: fit
Use: “Mate, that girl is proper Brad Pitt.”
15. Britney Spears
Translation: ears, tears, or beers
Use: “Dry those Britneys.”
16. Charlie Drake
Translation: steak
Use: “I’ll have chips with me Charlie.”
17. Cheese and kisses
Translation: Mrs
Use: “I got some flowers to surprise me cheese, she loved it.”
18. Cheesy Quaver
Translation: favour
Use: “Do us a cheesy Quaver, pal.”
19. Coat hanger
Translation: clanger, mistake
Use: “I’ve only gone and sent it to print with a huge coat hanger in the headline!”
20. Cuff link
Translation: drink (alcoholic)
Use: “Let’s go down the rubber dub for a cuff link.”
21. Cuppa, sausage and a slice
Translation: nice
Use: “He’s a cuppa lad.”
22. Daisy dancers
Translation: stairs
Use: “I’m off up the Daisys to bed.”
23. Damien Hirst
Translation: first class degree
Use: “My cousin only went and got a Damien from Oxford!”
24. Diet Coke
Translation: joke
Use: “These train strikes are a Diet Coke!”
25. Donald Trump
Translation: hump
Use: “What’s given you the Donald, then?”
26. French egg
Translation: enough (un ouef)
Use: “That’s it, I’ve had a French egg now.”
27. Gamma ray
Translation: stray
Use: “This cat keeps hanging about my garden, I reckon it’s a gamma.”
28. German beer/ ginger beer
Translation: engineer
Use: “If you need some work done on your car my cousin’s a great ginger beer.”
29. Godforsaken
Translation: bacon
Use: “I’m craving a godforsaken sarnie.”
30. Gordon Brown
Translation: clown
Use: “My dad’s a bit of a Gordon.”
31. Harry Hill
Translation: pill, birth control
Use: “I can’t be pregnant, I’m on the Harry.”
32. Holy Grail
Translation: email
Use: “Send us the details in a holy.”
33. Hovis
Translation: dead (from brown bread)
Use: “He’s been Hovis for years now.”
34. Ian Beale
Translation: real
Use: “I’m keeping it Ian Beale.”
35. Itchy ring
Translation: Burger King
Use: “I’m Hank Marvin mate, wanna go get an itchy?”
36. Jabba the Hutt
Translation: shut
Use: “I just went down the tin tank for some cash but it was Jabba.”
37. Jet fighter
Translation: all-nighter
Use: “I had to pull a jet fighter to catch up with my work.”
38. KY Jelly
Translation: telly
Use: “Get in here quick, your trouble’s on the KY.”
39. Kangaroo pouch
Translation: couch
Use: “Help us move my kangaroo.”
40. Lager and lime
Translation: spine
Use: “I’ve got a terrible pain in me lager.”
41. Lisa Tarbucks
Translation: Starbucks
Use: “I’ve not got enough wonga to get coffee from Lisa.”
42. Lump of lead
Translation: head
Use: “Use your lump!”
43. Malcom X
Translation: text
Use: “Send us a Malcom.”
44. Merlyn Rees
Translation: piece, lunch
Use: “I’m off to the caff for some Merlyn, are you coming?”
45. Noddy holders
Translation: shoulders
Use: “I’ve got a terrible pain in me Noddys.”
46. Obi Wan Kenobi
Translation: mobile phone
Use: “Send us a Malcom on me Obi Wan.”
47. Perpetual loser
Translation: boozer
Use: “Me local perpetual has been no cop since it got taken over.”
48. Pineapple chunk
Translation: bunk bed
Use: “You and your sister will have to share the pineapple.”
49. Ricky Gervais
Translation: face
Use: “You should’ve seen the look on her Ricky when I told her the news.”
50. Rock of Ages
Translation: wages
Use: “With rent like this they better give us higher Rock of Ages.”
Herbert Wise’s 1989 TV gem wowed critics, inspired Oscar-winners and ruined Christmas for a generation. Then it was never seen again … until now
“I saw it when it was first shown,” says the film critic Kim Newman. “Christmas Eve with my mum and dad. We all just wanted to watch a spooky ghost story. But there were after-effects, a mood that carried on after the film ended. You wake up next morning, Christmas Day, you’re still scared …”
“That” scene from The Woman In Black
He laughs darkly. “The Woman in Black ruined Christmas.”
Few horror films have acquired the cult reputation of Herbert Wise’s TV production of The Woman in Black. Adapted by visionary British sci-fi screenwriter Nigel Kneale from Susan Hill’s 1983 novella,
Netflix’s incredibly niche, personalised subgenres have long captivated movie nerds, from “Steamy Crime Movies from the 1970s” to “Period Pieces About Royalty Based on Real Life”.
The genres, based on a complicated algorithm that uses reams of data about users’ viewing habits to recommend exactly what a particular user is into, number in the tens of thousands.
When Netflix thinks you’ll like sentimental Spanish-language dramas or gritty tearjerkers, they’ll show up on your home screen, but aside from that, they’re not easy to find.
But a simple web address trick has emerged showing how you can find any one of these genres simply by switching a number in a URL.
How it works
If you’re logged into Netflix, enter http://www.netflix.com/browse/genre/XXXXinto your browser’s toolbar to bring up one of the thousands of genres in Netflix’s library.
“XXXX” is a series of digits – 1089 is “Mind-bending Movies”, for example; while 354 is “Movies Starring Matthew McConaughey” – currently a genre of one film.
Not all numbers will result in a subgenre, and given Netflix’s ever-changing algorithms, they might move around every now and then, while there may be regional differences meaning that some codes don’t work.
Codes for the main genres are available here. At the foot of the list is a link to a list of even more.
The passage of time tends to make old films more interesting, such as these seven films of the late ’40s and ’50s from British directors John Boulting, Carol Reed, David Lean, Anthony Kimmins, Charles Frend, Guy Hamilton, and Leslie Norman.
Boring British Movies
Growing up as a callow nascent film buff, lost in the candy store of VHS tapes and TV Guide, I gathered that British films were mostly dull old things. With a few exceptions, they were talky sub-Hollywood productions, at best well-acted but lacking oomph and pizzazz and élan and je ne sais quoi. I partly got this impression from English critics, and some of the tatty VHS and TV prints I saw reinforced this idea.
As the years passed, I had to note more and more exceptions until the old canard became festooned with mental asterisks and parentheses. Today, with so many classic British films that haven’t circulated in the US finally hitting Region 1 in sparkling restorations on Blu-ray, I’m officially concluding that the spotty dismissal of British cinema is what deserves to be dismissed.
