Behold, A Pale Horse Race

The Sarah Kendzior Newsletter

November 5, 2023

By the time we reached New Orleans, the sun had set on the shortest day of the year. It was four days before Christmas and the only thing on my wish list was relief. 2021 began with an unpunished coup and was ending with a mutating plague. I wanted to take my children to a place where music still ruled the streets.

We drove south from St. Louis along the Mississippi River, the artery of the American slave trade, and arrived after dark. I had told the kids of wild crowds but I was operating on old impressions. It was quiet now in this city famed for nightlife, the kind of quiet that makes you ask where all the people went. You are not supposed to ask this question because the answers are buried in the earth.

We walked toward a long brick wall surrounding a cemetery. The tops of tombs poked out: the resting places of slaveowners and soldiers and politicians and priests. But nothing really rests in New Orleans. Shadow clouds freed the moon until it lit our path like a spotlight. As we approached the cemetery, a spraypainted message became visible. We stopped and read the writing on the wall.

Sarah Kendzior

“All colonies are burning,” it said in neat cursive script.

It was not a proclamation. It was a promise.

The day before we hit the road in December 2021, I finished writing my book, They KnewThey Knew covers a variety of actual conspiracies over which officials feign ignorance – child trafficking, climate change, covid, cults, coups – but above all, it is a book about elite criminal impunity.

“The 21st century’s most desirable currency is impunity,” I wrote. “Impunity, the sadist’s conception of freedom, mainstreamed and marketed as the new American Dream.”

Victims posing as oppressors, the powerful playacting as the powerless, lies told with the smirk of people who love to get caught because they know they will not be punished. The Trump administration was the culmination of America’s worst tendencies, a consequence of institutions so rotted they needed to be gutted and reborn.

People used to admit this when Trump was still in office. They have stopped now that Biden is president and the rot has only festered. The Biden administration has continued Trump policies while refusing to hold Trump and his backers accountable, to the point that Trump can run for president again like Mafia Grover Cleveland.

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I woke before dawn and Satan was trending

The Sarah Kendzior Newsletter

October 29, 2023

I woke before dawn and Satan was trending.

I did not know why. There were too many options. Was it the mass killing of Palestinian children whose cries were cut off as the Israeli government plunged Gaza into darkness? The theocrat selected to lead the House after backing the unpunished insurrection? The unending pandemic and its deleted data and official obfuscation? Was it Ukraine, Acapulco, Lewiston? Or was there a new geographical shorthand for tragedy?

Had Henry Kissinger finally died?

Sarah Kendzior

That prospect was enough for me to click on “Satan”. But like the X on black, it marked no spot. No tweet it summoned mentioned the devil. But they did not need to when evil is the default mode. I fell down a wormwood wormhole. I spent hours lost in tales of horror, and exploitation of horror, and excuses for horror. I could not decide what scared me more, the silence or the screams.

The algorithm was riding vibes. Satan was superfluous and Twitter was a dead see scroll.

Twitter has always been a place where people go to bear witness to the disappearing world. Like many, I joined in June 2009 to watch the protests in Iran. I watched until they were interrupted by the death of Michael Jackson, and I thought of all the ways the world could stop. For fourteen years, I watched people rise up and I watched their governments beat them down. I watched followers who felt like friends pass away during a plague. I watched election violence and mass shootings and climate catastrophes. I watched strangers from all over the world comfort each other and give advice on how to survive.

That last part – that is why I stayed. Not for the advice, but for the kindness of the gesture.

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